


Reconciliation - A Toyko Ghoul AU

by CMBadiuk



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe - Tokyo Ghoul, F/M, Gen, Tokyo Ghoul Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-30
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2018-10-13 00:38:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10502814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CMBadiuk/pseuds/CMBadiuk
Summary: *Anime and Manga Changes Contained* The Anteiku Raid has come and gone. Amon and Kaneki have both left alive. Kaneki, in later events, snaps. Despite festering insanity, he hangs on knowing he has a world to change. He must attempt the most dangerous feat any ghoul could: form a shaky alliance with a former enemy, and change the playing field of their war for survival forever.





	1. Prologue

*WARNING! Numerous anime and manga spoilers ahead. If you haven't finished the original TG series, read at your own risk.*

A/N: Hello everybody. I'm Caleb, and I have a story for you. Before I go any further, let me say this is a repost of my original story from FanFiction.net, just transferred over to AO3. Nothing has changed from the original, but if you want to take a look at that version, you can. I was slightly unhappy with the way that the Tokyo Ghoul manga and anime played out. So I've taken it upon myself to rewrite some of the happenings in the canon to fit my desires, while still seeming as realistic as possible. So in my Tokyo Ghoul AU, it has been three months since the Anteiku raid, but Kaneki is still Kaneki, and he never fought Arima, but Kaneki is going insane still and is trying to fix himself and regain control. Unfortunately Hide is still MIA, but only to give some personal drive to Kaneki's character. As well, Amon is alive for anyone who grew to like him, and I've added my own special characters who I'll be switching to the POV of every once in a while. And one more note: this story also features a Touka x Kaneki pairing and light dustings of romance later on. Please leave whatever constructive feedback you have, and enjoy!

Prologue

KANEKI

A white haired young man stumbled through the underground canals of Tokyo. These areas had become known as the 24th Ward by the local ghouls, and only they dared venture into the depths of the city. The young man had no choice. He was being hunted, and this place would give him refuge. He trembled, made weak from a long battle, and collapsed into a cold, damp wall. His vision was cloudy, any shapes in the dark becoming muddied and smudged together. "Come on, Kaneki. Breathe… get a hold of yourself."

He took several slow, controlled breaths and allowed himself to rest. He was relieved to be away from the gunshots, blazing fire, screaming, burnt rubber, and death. So much death. And over what? Ghouls, of course. Ghouls who rarely if ever did anything to disturb the peace. The CCG never seemed to care when it came to his kind. They simply killed, or rather exterminated the ghouls.

Tonight, Ken Kaneki could label himself the better person in this conflict. He had a chance to kill a very dangerous investigator, but decided against it. That investigator, Amon Koutarou, would hopefully live on to remember their encounter and the reluctant mercy of his opponent. That's unlikely, thought Kaneki, but maybe he will. No harm in hoping.

The young man regained some of his sight and composure. He stood from the concrete wall, supporting his own weight again. I should leave the ward, he thought. But something kept him here. An old friend he needed to find. Hide had to be somewhere close. If only he had some ideas as to where. He stood in silence for a time, thinking and trying to keep his mind clear of a panic attack.

GiVE it To ME… gIve UP yOUr MinD…

Panic attacks were the least of his worries. The leftovers of those he'd eaten still gnawing at his brain, the scraps of Rize and Yamori echoed guttural commands to his mind. "No…" he began. "That's mine… let me keep it." He wanted to finally have control again. It would not let him.

Ever since leaving Anteiku for Aogiri Tree, Kaneki struggled to maintain his emotions or restrain his actions. The loose ends he never tied up, Yamori and Rize, the ghouls he ate, never left him alone anymore. Give me back control…" He whimpered.

Kaneki could no longer restrain his kagune. It burst from his back and thrashed about. The force behind the hulking tendrils picked him up off the ground. He shot across the tunnel and landed face first in a puddle, his nose crunching on the concrete.

He collapsed in the putrid water beneath him and fought a war in his mind, writhing and flailing, wailing and screaming for it to stop. He begged to be free. The demons in him would not let him be free. He kicked and thrashed and clawed at the air, with no success. His pain only increased.

AMON

"Amon… please." A woman called to him. It was so quiet, like a whisper directly in his ear, but it seemed so far away. Was he dying? No. He couldn't be. He still had work to do. His colleagues needed him

Amon saw light in the distance. People always said not to go toward the light. He followed their instructions and opened his eyes, coughing dryly. Akira? She was kneeling over him, a single tear in her eye.

"Come on Amon, stay with me. Don't leave me, damn it!" Akira never spoke like this. He must have really been close to dying.

"I'm not going anywhere yet," he wheezed, cracking a tired smirk. She let a half-smile creep onto her lips, then wrapped her arms around Amon's still limp body. Why do I feel numb? He could feel his body was all there, but he couldn't move it.

Amon strained to recall the events of the night. Cold, death and destruction, a determination to fight and win. There was something else as well. Pain, something punching through him, warmth, and the nearby embrace of death. "What happened to the Eyepatch?" The reason why Amon ended up in this situation in the first place. They had met each other in battle and resorted to their only option, fight to the death.

But something about their encounter seemed wrong. Amon should have died if the Centipede was strong enough to put him in this condition. So why wasn't he dead?

Akira shook her head. "He escaped, Amon. But he wasn't the objective. We did what we came for, I think. I hope."

KANEKI

He coughed up water and blood, regaining some control over himself. Tears, water, and more of his own blood streamed down his face. He shakily found the will and the strength to stand. If this was not Hell, he was unsure how different it could be from this. If nothing else, he could now tell others he had been through Hell. All because he decided to eat another ghoul.

I need to find someone to help me, he commanded himself. He had a feeling Mr. Yoshimura was dead. Anyone else from Anteiku was likely dead as well, or far away from here. Knocking on CCG's front door would be utter suicide. Hide was likely gone; his family might never have existed. He was alone. He had nobody.

Maybe nobody could help him. Maybe he would suffer like this, totally alone, until he fixed himself. No, he could not accept that. He needed to hang on. He did not want to be alone. Selfish bastard, he scolded himself. But is that really so bad? If I want to help others, I need to help myself first. I can't give up yet. I can't let myself down.

Kaneki steeled himself. He did want to help the people he cared about, whether for his own gain or for them did not matter to him right now. He needed to keep fighting. He needed to keep getting stronger. He needed to save himself, and honor Mr. Yoshimura's dying wish. And he would.

"I won't let you control me," he told the voices in his head. They who had tormented him endlessly and indiscriminately for the last three months finally stopped screaming in his head for a moment. Like when he drank his first coffee as a ghoul, Kaneki felt hope. As his mind made room without the voices he would normally hear, a thought came to him about who he could now go to, if anybody.

"Touka and Hinami will never forgive me," he figured. They would sooner turn themselves in to the CCG than welcome him back to their lives. He still had to see if they were safe, at least. He would let them choose what to do with him from there.

Kaneki hardened his resolve once more, finding a way out of the sewage canals and into the midnight streets of Tokyo. I have a feeling Touka came looking for me. Even if she's upset with me something always seems to draw her back. If she ended up anywhere during the night, Anteiku would have been the place. He would look there first.

Even before seeing Anteiku he could tell it was gone. From around the corner,the amber glow of flames gave the answer to his question. He prepared himself for the worst. As the building came into view, he knew what he was looking at but could not comprehend it at the same time. The building had caved in and was now no more than a smoldering mess. No surprise, the CCG had purged everything to do with the 20th Ward ghouls they could get their white gloves on. The ruined building used to mean safety, a haven for any ghoul in need. In front of it knelt a slender figure, trembling and sobbing. Touka.

Kaneki carefully approached her from behind, not daring to touch her. She did not move. She was as still as a corpse, save her trembling. Kaneki stood mere feet behind her, for too long.

Kaneki took another step and Touka flinched. Kaneki stopped in his tracks. Touka croaked, "You just had to leave, didn't you?"

"Touka… I'm sorry," Kaneki replied in the only way he knew how to.

"You're damn right!" She stood and turned to face Kaneki. She stared into his soul. Kaneki had become jaded. She could no longer affect him. He stared right back. "What are you doing here?" Touka continued.

"The same thing you are. I'm paying my respects. And hoping to comfort a friend."

Touka's face wrinkled in a mix of anger and sadness. She tried to speak, but only squeaks and croaks escaped her mouth. She angrily cleared her throat. "If you think we're friends after everything you've done…" Touka clenched a fist, wanting nothing more than to punch him hard in the jaw.

The half ghoul shook his head. "I'm not looking for a lecture, Kirishima. Just to talk."

Touka had none of it. She threw her punch, closing the gap between them in one second. Her punch met Kaneki's hand, and he closed it tight around her fist. Touka wanted to bring her knee into his gut, but she was in no condition to continue. She fell forward into Kaneki's chest out of pure exhaustion, both mental and physical. Kaneki held her up and placed his free hand on the back of Touka's head.

She let herself sob into his tattered shirt. "It's gone… it's all gone."

"I know," he whispered. There was nothing else to say. Touka continued to sob, and Kaneki continued to run his hand over her hair. Within a minute, she had fallen asleep. Kaneki breathed a laugh, surprised she dozed off so fast. He slid an arm under her legs and cautiously picked her up. "I'll take you back to Yomo."

This moment in history felt like an end to conflict for some. Those who knew better planned for the next crisis. Nobody, however, comprehended what could come next. Not completely. Tokyo, in due time, would get torn apart at the seams.


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will be undergoing heavy edits in the coming few weeks. For now it is still presentable, but not in its ideal state.

3 Months Later

KANEKI

None of the ghouls of Anteiku returned to the 20th Ward. They determined it would be on lockdown by the CCG, and thus highly dangerous to even step foot inside the borders without preparation. The only people to go back were Kaneki, Touka, and Yomo. Even then they only returned to assess the conditions of the area after weeks of prep and planning. So for now, everyone from Anteiku was partially scattered around Tokyo, mostly settling in the 23rd Ward. This included Kaneki, Touka, and Hinami.

They lived in separate apartments under fake names and didn’t associate with each other much, due mostly to the wishes of Touka. It seemed no matter how hard Kaneki tried to right his wrongs and make amends, Touka would have none of it. Then again, what else was he to expect from her?

Kaneki was on his way to meet a contact who would help him on a food run. While he was alone, he let all these thoughts and more distract him from Rize and Yamori shaking the fence around his sanity. He often did this. It helped more than almost anything else to keep him afloat.

His train of thought shifted again when he saw a man in a beige trench coat ahead.

“Keirebu,” Kaneki called out to the man. “The creepy approach does not suit you.”

The man turned toward Kaneki and smiled. “And the threatening approach never did suit you either,” he shot back.

Keirebu was a one-eyed ghoul like Kaneki. However Keirebu became one by his own choice. Any ghoul who ever met him thought he was stupid or insane for choosing this life, but he didn’t care. He saw the value in a ghoul’s life, and he wanted others to see it too.

“How’s CCG working out? Still looking for me?” Kaneki continued walking, nodding to signal Keirebu to follow.

Keeping up, Keirebu threw his coat into a gutter, revealing a large duffel bag on his back. “Yeah, they’re keeping busy for sure. Amon is still mulling over the fact that he didn’t die that night.”

“Of course he is,” Kaneki scoffed. “The bastard needs to lighten up a bit.”

“As if you’re any better.”

“In case you haven’t noticed,” Kaneki lifted his shirt to show the scar on his right side. “I have a bit more reason to wonder why I’m not dead.” He covered himself again.

Keirebu sighed, keeping quiet in knowing the conversation wouldn’t go anywhere positive anytime soon. The two continued at a brisk pace to their destination. Keirebu especially knew that the CCG wouldn’t pause their patrol so a couple of ghouls could get food.

For now, the feeding grounds for non-murderous ghouls was near a popular suicide spot for prison inmates. Nobody seemed to care if a few criminals disappeared, so it seemed like the most humane way to eat. How this spot hadn’t been fixed by the city yet was beyond the two ghouls, but they didn’t complain. It meant easier food, after all.

Kaneki was the first to scale the fence. Once he was over, he slipped on a ski mask. The mask was less conspicuous than a ghoul mask, and much cheaper. Keirebu slipped on a similar mask and leaped over the barbed wire topping the concrete. In the last couple of food runs, Kaneki had found there was almost no security camera coverage of this section of the prison. It was like they were begging for ghouls to steal bodies. He was more than happy to answer their begging.

Keirebu still felt reluctant about all this, but he gave himself a responsibility to help the city's ghouls so he would continue as long as they needed him. He didn't see them not needing him for a long time.

After packing up two corpses, the ghouls jumped back over the fence, thankful as always for their fortune. “You don't need to come, you know,” Kaneki commented.

“I realize,” he replied, “but this is better work than CCG. Besides, I wasn't needed for anything today. I guess being assigned to the 25th Ward really does have its perks.”

Kaneki hummed. The old him wouldn’t have been able to complete the job at all if someone like Keirebu weren't present. He probably would have smiled at Keirebu's remark of 'perks.' But the old Kaneki was gone. At least for now. Everyone who knew Kaneki now had a solid understanding of that. As unfortunate as it was.

 

The pair returned to Kaneki's home, located across the street from the ghouls' new refuge, which would be called ':re' once it was finished. They would likely have called it Anteiku, to pay respect to all their losses, but everyone came to the consensus that it would be too obvious a name to the CCG. So by suggestion of Touka, the place was called :re.

“I can take things from here, Keirebu.” Kaneki took the duffel bag off Keirebu's shoulder. “You can go home now.”

Keirebu nodded, turning around and descending the stairs from floor six to the ground.

Kaneki was once again alone, left only with the voices to occupy his brain. He shut them out, reminding himself, “My mind is my own.” He would often have to use this type of talking to keep his mind away from insanity. Sometimes he would think about himself, sometimes he would think about Hide, and his determination to find him. Sometimes he would think about reconciling his friendship with Hinami, and other times he would think about Touka. Not always about something specific, but just about Touka in general. It was strange, but she helped keep him sane more than anything sometimes.

He suppressed his kagune's desire to break free. He was getting good at controlling his ghoulish tendencies. He still felt it was only a matter of time before things got worse for him. He still hadn't found someone to help him properly deal with his insanity. He would, though. There had to be someone.

He retired to his bed, taking out his phone and sending a goodnight message to Touka. She rarely, if ever, replied, but he sent them anyway. It never hurt.

Tonight, she did reply:

_Night. Come see me tomorrow_.

Kaneki went to bed with a bit of eagerness for the next day. He was a bit suspicious, but something told him tomorrow would be good with whatever this was.

 

The next morning, Kaneki went to meet Touka near Uta's mask shop. He anticipated her to be late, so he was surprised when he showed up and she was already there.

“You're late,” she snapped.

“I expected you to take your time, like always.” Kaneki stopped in front of her, staring into her eyes with no eyepatch to get in the way. He was frustrated, but he still thought her eyes were beautiful. “What are we here for?”

Touka raised the bag she had around her wrist, tossing it to Kaneki. “Your new mask,” she told him. He would wait to look at it. “And,” she continued, “I want you to take me to a bookstore.”

Kaneki was taken aback by her remark. “Touka, what are you asking me?”

Touka rolled her eyes. “It's not a date, you idiot. I want to get something for Hinami and I need help.”

Kaneki knew it wasn't a date, but his heart still sank at the remark. Why, he wondered, was that? He would think about it later. “Alright, I'll go. On one condition.”

“What?”

“You tell Hinami I got the book for her too.”

“Why would that matter to you?”

“Because,” Kaneki explained, “she's still my little sister too.”

Touka sighed. “Fine.”

 

It was quite a walk from the mask shop to Kaneki's favourite bookstore. It had been months since he'd been, given this is where he fell into Rize's trap when he was still human. He flet like it might help his sanity a bit to go back, though. Facing his fears wasn't something he was used to, but it was worth a shot.

Kaneki took Touka directly to the section where Sen Takatsuki's books could be found. Kaneki had a feeling Hinami could use something new of hers to read. Last he checked she could handle Takatsuki's books much more easily. He picked a couple he thought would be good, handing them to Touka.

On their way to check out, Touka looked preoccupied in a way he'd never seen before from her. She looked toward the large windows at one end of the store and cursed.

“What?” Kaneki asked.

“My best friend is here.” She grabbed hold of Kaneki's hand and interlaced their fingers, putting on a very convincing fake smile.

Kaneki skipped a beat at their contact, then realized what this was. “You want me to put on a show for your friend?”

Touka cleared her throat. “Y-yeah. She thinks I'm going out with you.”

“That's kind of unlikely, given how you act with me,” Kaneki said.

“Just shut up and play the part.” Touka brought herself up to Kaneki's side, practically hugging his arm and resting her head on his shoulder. She kept up the act until they left the line of sight of the bookstore, then Touka let go of Kaneki, to his disappointment.

“I didn't expect her to be there.” Touka cursed again, flattening out a hair that had stuck up from clinging to Kaneki. She was disappointed to let go too, but she wasn't about to tell him that. She still had some hate for him. “Anyway, uh, thanks. For the help.”

“No problem,” he told her. “I'll see you around.”

“Yeah,” she replied. They parted ways at that remark.

 

Later that day, Kaneki was again retiring to bed for the night when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He pulled it out and checked the unread message. It was from Touka.

_Goodnight Kaneki._

A smile crept onto Kaneki's face. He replied, returning the wish. That night, he slept a little easier for a reason he couldn't totally explain.


	3. Chapter 2

AMON

One question would not leave the investigator's head. For three months, he had toiled over one issue, one loose thread, one unexplained occurrence. He still lost sleep over it, and he feared he may never find the answer. Sitting in the head office of the CCG's 20th Ward Division building, the four grey walls holding him together, he fought with conflicting ideas and theories swimming around his head.

“Why am I not dead?” he whispered.

Akira, his partner, heard his near-silent question. She sighed and slapped her papers down on her desk. “Amon, you need to let go of your petty conflictions. You're alive. That's fine.”

“But why me? So many others would be much more vital than me in current events. Plenty of good men and women would probably still be alive if I wasn't.” He stared blankly at the wooden crucifix above his doorway. “The Centipede probably wouldn't still be at large if I had died.”

“Amon, stop it.” She snapped him out of his trance. “Stop right now. With that kind of attitude, you won't do any good alive or dead.” She stood from her chair and walked around Amon's desk, placing her arms around his neck. “You are alive for a reason. Look for whatever that is.”

Amon fought back his negative thoughts, making room for his partner's positive ones. He knew it wasn't like him to dwell on unfavourable circumstances. He would make up for his weakness later. “You're right.” At that moment, he steeled himself, making a resolution to find the Eyepatch Ghoul, and figure out why he allowed an investigator live. Maybe he'd also learn why Amon himself allowed the ghoul to live.

“Amon,” Akira ran a hand down Amon's arm, “we're going to dinner, then you're taking me home.”

Amon was still getting used to the idea of dating Akira, dating his mentor's daughter. So he tentatively stood from his chair, taking her waist and pulling her into a hug. He simply said one word. “Okay.” Both investigators knew he wasn't only agreeing with the plan. He was also saying 'thank you.'

Both grabbed their coats on the way out of the office, saying goodnight to everyone present without another word. Everyone knew the two were seeing each other, but they let Amon and Akira themselves think they were the only ones to know. Fraternization was highly frowned upon in the CCG, but only the superiors really cared. Amon was the highest superior in the ward, so by default he was fine.

The evening streets of Tokyo were bustling with post-work crowds of people and cars. Akira, with Amon's hand in hers, guided herself and Amon through the crowds. Amon would've lost track of Akira had their hands not been locked together.

“Do we even know where we're going?” Amon fought to keep up.

Akira laughed loudly enough she could hear herself over the crowds. “No idea! We'll find somewhere, this is Tokyo!” They passed many fast food chains and a couple expensive restaurants, moving further and further away from the relative safety of the CCG building. They were both high ranking officers, but neither of them had any apparent protection if things went sour.

Very quickly, the bustling crowds turned into small groups as the city shifted into more residential areas. The streets became less lit with neon colour and more with traditional street lamps. The pair were losing opportunities for dinner.

“It doesn’t look like we'll find anywhere to eat at this rate,” Amon commented.

Akira stopped walking, looking around the block. “I think you might be right.” She frowned. “Now what?”

“I could prepare something, back at my apartment.” Smiling lightly, Amon gripped Akira's hand tighter.

Akira smiled back. “I'd like that.”

Now it was Amon's turn to lead. He escorted Akira back a few blocks, then wove through back streets and alleys before emerging across the street from the 23rd ward CCG headquarters.

“This is where you live?” Akira had an eyebrow raised at Amon. This seemed like something he would do.

“I'm nearby in case they need help,” he replied. He knew they wouldn't. This was the 23rd ward, after all. “It never hurts to be around, at least.”

“I won't argue. I'm starving.”

“Me too. Come with me. I'm sure I can make something decent for us.”

A few steps down the lamp lit block and a short elevator ride found the pair in front of Amon's apartment. He grabbed a key from the inside of his suit pocket and opened the door.

Amon's apartment was modest. Similar in size to a student's apartment, with a blend of eastern and western furnishings. When Akira walked in, she took a spin and noticed a wooden cross above the doorway. It was homely in here. She liked it. Amon took her coat, hanging it and his own coat in the small closet to their right. They both took off their shoes and stepped further into the room.

“I'll begin on dinner,” Amon said. He stepped into the kitchen, or what passed as a kitchen, and pulled some vegetables, a chicken breast, rice, and sauces from his fridge and cupboards. “Please, have a seat.” Amon gestured to his living room. Akira had accidentally been staring at Amon again. It was difficult not to sometimes. She shook herself back to awareness and took a seat in a small easy chair.

 

Some time later, Amon came to serve Akira their dinner: a teriyaki chicken dish with mixed vegetables. “It looks delicious,” she said.

“Thank you,” Amon replied. “It's nothing special, but I enjoy it.” He handed her chopsticks, and she began eating. Amon took a moment to bring his hands together. “Itadakimasu,” he spoke. A brief show of appreciation to his god for the meal. Simple, yet elegant and beautiful. Akira smiled. Amon picked up his chopsticks and began eating. They both gazed at the city skyline through the window.

“It's beautiful,” Akira commented. She felt Amon's gaze rest on her. She couldn't help but blush.

“Yes, it is.” He was not only talking about the city, but her as well.

Akira grinned, knowing what Amon meant. “It's an honour to protect all of this. I hope we're doing it well.”

“So do I,” Amon admitted. For a moment, he looked deep in thought. “We have a shared burden to keep the peace, but what if the peace we are striving for isn't possible?”

Akira frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, what if we can't eradicate or detain the ghouls? What if we're not supposed to?” Amon fought back the urge to hit himself. That sounded ridiculous.

Akira thought for a moment, staring at her food. “I don't know, Amon. I don't have an answer for that. I guess we'll see what happens if the time comes.”

 

After the meal, Akira helped Amon clean up before she would leave for home. “Thank you for the food tonight, Amon,” she said as she washed one of the bowls they had used.

“You're welcome.” Amon smiled. “It was good to have you over.”

Akira hummed and nodded. Part of her didn't want to leave. She thought that may not be appropriate, however. So instead, she stopped washing dishes and gave Amon a tight hug, pulling his face down for a kiss. Amon gently wrapped his arms around Akira and returned the kiss briefly. It was soft and tender, full of compassion rather than desire. _This is how love should be_ , the pair thought.

They released each other, Akira grinning and Amon returning a somewhat sheepish half smile. They locked eyes for a moment. Finally, Akira spoke up. “I should head home.”

“I suppose so.” Amon frowned. He wouldn't mind spending the night with her, but they would both need energy for work tomorrow. So, he saw Akira out the door, said goodbye, and returned to his living room after shutting the door. He looked back out across Tokyo, thinking about the future, and the words and actions of the Centipede. “I will find out why you didn't kill me,” he promised.


	4. Chapter 3

KANEKI

He woke in a cold sweat, his t-shirt soaked through. He was panting, a sharp pain in his back. “Another nightmare,” he whispered. He rubbed his back briefly, then grabbed his phone from under his pillow. No new messages, as he’d expect. He opened up his message history with Touka and began typing a new one.

_Another nightmare. Back hurts like a mother. Still up?_

Kaneki hit send and put his phone down. No response came, so he lay in his bed, trying not to think. He’d practiced in his time before the Anteiku raid. That too helped him cope with his guilt and his conflicting personalities. A half hour later, when he was ready to fall asleep again, he felt his phone buzz on his stomach. He picked it up and checked the message.

_Yeah can’t really sleep. I’m on my way. Need coffee?_

_Not this time,_ he replied. _You don’t have to come, you know_.

_Nothing better to do. Like I said, I can’t sleep._

Reluctantly, Kaneki accepted her rare generosity. _Okay. I’ll buzz you in when you get here. See you in a few._

_Yup._

Touka insisted that Kaneki tell her when he would have nightmares. She said she needed to keep track of them in case they got too dangerous and Kaneki would need to be put out of his misery. That was her excuse, but he knew there was a bit more to it than that. Kaneki would smirk whenever he thought about it. He lay in bed until Touka arrived, at which point he opened the building's front doors for her.

“I told you I didn't want coffee,” Kaneki said when she walked in the door.

Touka looked at the two travel cups in her hands. “I didn't bring this for you. I’m going to need both of these if I’m staying up with you again.” She sat on Kaneki's bed and took a sip from one of the cups. Kaneki took a seat at his desk and turned on his computer. He didn’t want to sit next to her yet. He still didn’t have much experience with her at night and despite being able to take her down now, he didn’t want to take his chances with her this time.

“So what did you dream about?” Touka pulled her legs up onto the bed with her.

Kaneki stared at the wall for a moment. “I ate Hide.” He couldn’t say more. The images in his head were torturous to think about.

 “Still having dreams about him, huh?” Touka was, as always, unsympathetic.

“Well he was basically my brother, Touka. You can’t expect me not to.”

Touka, despite being blank faced already, lost what little emotion she had in her face. “No. I guess I can't.”

Kaneki could tell that something changed in Touka for at least a brief moment. “Touka? What's wrong?” A tear was rolling down her cheek. She didn't respond. “Touka?”

“It's nothing,” she said. She wiped her cheek of the tear. When she noticed Kaneki staring at her, she wanted so badly to punch him. Or maybe not him, but something. “What are you staring at, dumbass?”

Kaneki sighed, pushing the harsh title aside. “Touka,” he began, “you can tell me what's going on.”

Touka couldn't hold back anymore. Tears came to her eyes and her lip quivered. “My brother is so stupid.” She laughed through her tears, through her pain. “I'm so worried for him.”

Kaneki sat in his chair, gazing at his feet. The old Kaneki would have easily gotten up and hugged her, but he was not the old Kaneki. That boy was long gone. Still, she needed him as much as he needed her. He got off his chair, kneeled in front of Touka, and pulled her into his embrace. Touka jumped at his contact, but soon she relaxed into him and started openly crying.

“He's gonna get himself killed. He's gonna die, and I'm gonna be alone, and I can't take that.”

He hushed her softly. “Just be quiet, Touka. Breathe. It'll be okay.”

“How would you know?” She snapped.

“Because I've lost my brother, but I'm not alone.” Kaneki rested his eyes on Touka. She met his gaze and saw the pain in his eyes was the same as hers. She clenched her eyes shut and fell into him again. He didn’t need or want her to say more. He was fine doing what he was. For the next ten minutes, Touka rested on Kaneki, soaking his t-shirt with her tears. Kaneki just kept stroking her hair.

Eventually, Touka stopped crying and sniffed, wiping her eyes clear again. Kaneki still held her, but let his grasp loosen as he thought she would want to move away. Instead, she lay back into his chest, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Thanks,” she finally uttered.

“You’re welcome.” Kaneki carefully brought his hands away from Touka’s back.

When she felt his hands leave, she reached for them and put them back on her. “I’m not done with you yet,” she told him.

Kaneki strangely didn’t object. He felt comfortable embracing Touka and having her rest on him so casually. They just stayed in the same spot for nearly twenty minutes, at which point Touka seemed to be dozing off.

“Touka?” Kaneki whispered. “Do you need to go home?”

She groaned, her eyes mostly shut. “I guess I should.” She didn’t get up, however. She still rested on her half-ghoul pillow. Once again, she noticed how intoxicating his scent was. Not only in the sense of a hunter smelling its prey, but in a way she had never paid attention to before. It was… attractive. “Actually, I don’t think I’m awake enough to go home now. Plus the creeps and other ghouls are out now. Could I…” she hesitated. Should she dare say it? “Could I stay here?”

Kaneki was shocked to hear Touka ask such a question. He never would have thought, in a million years, that the hard shelled, tough-as-nails Touka Kirishima would ask to stay at someone’s house because of “creeps and other ghouls,” especially his house. However, he didn’t object. “Okay,” he said. “But where will you sleep?”

“If it’s okay, I want to sleep with you.” She paused as Kaneki recoiled slightly. “Not like that, you perv. There’s just nowhere else to sleep in this crammed place. Come on, Ken.”

Kaneki was screaming internally. His inner crushing teenager was having a hysterical fit, and his newer, more sensible mind was having a hard time keeping the rest of himself in check. “Alright, I guess that’s fine. Just don’t kick around in your sleep or anything. You’ll be on the floor if you do.”

“Or you will,” Touka shot back.

Kaneki wasn’t about to fight back. He was tired too. “Just try not to, okay?”

“Okay,” she agreed. “Oh, and if you touch me, on purpose or not, you’re sleeping face first in the dirt. Got that?”

Kaneki rolled his eyes. “Yup,” he said, unimpressed.

Touka smirked. “Good.” She climbed onto Kaneki’s bed and got under the covers sluggishly. Kaneki followed with extreme caution and reluctance. Once he was in bed and as far away from Touka as possible without falling off the bed, he shut off the light and whispered, “Goodnight.”

Touka grunted in response. She was already dozing off. As she fell into sleep, Kaneki stared at the ceiling for a time. “What in the world just happened?” he pondered. After a while, he determined he would think on it tomorrow, and went to sleep. He had no more nightmares that night.

 

Touka awoke the next morning facing Kaneki, their mouths mere inches from each other’s. She realized his hand had ended up on her hip and wondered if that was on purpose, or a result of sleep. She didn’t care either way. She’d harass him for it at least a little. When she focused on his face, she noticed just how soft his features looked. He was still the same Kaneki she met with black hair and an eyepatch, but now she could see pain, even in his resting expression. She frowned. The pain he felt was never meant for him. He didn’t ask to be a ghoul, but here he was among them, living the same suffering-filled existence as them. She now understood why he was so scared when he first became a ghoul. But she was still happy he had come around. Without him, she might not be alive on a couple of occasions. Without him, she would have internalized her pain toward her brother. Without him, she wouldn’t know what-

Kaneki stirred. Touka pulled her hand away from his cheek, where it had mysteriously come to rest as she was deep in thought. She could only hope he didn’t wake because of that contact. Kaneki didn’t seem to wake, and Touka sighed deeply when he rolled onto his other side. She crept out of bed before she could cause another close call. Admittedly, she didn’t want to leave Kaneki’s side. _What am I saying?_ She thought. _He might be different, but he’s still the stupid kid I knew at Anteiku._ She shook any thoughts of him from her head as she slipped her shoes on and gathered her things. The coffee she brought was still sitting on Kaneki’s desk. _I wasted good money on that…_

Kaneki stirred once again. Now that she was out of bed, Touka didn’t care if he woke or not. She swiped the travel cups, still full, and tossed them in the garbage. The drop was enough to wake him, and his eyes fluttered open. “Still here, Touka?” He groaned.

“Not for long, but yeah.” She zipped up her jacket and slipped into her boots at the front door.

Kaneki sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes. “Where are you going?”

“I’m in school, Kaneki. I need to go to classes.”

Kaneki paused. “Oh. Right.” He was disappointed she would have to leave, but he knew how much she valued school. It was good for her.

“What’s wrong, Kaneki?”

“Nothing, sorry.” The white haired young man clenched his eyes shut to force the sleep out of them. “I guess it's just difficult living alone sometimes with nothing to do.”

Touka nodded. To an extent she understood, and felt almost reluctant to leave him now. But she knew he understood her circumstances, and she did need to get to class. “If you want me to, I can come back or meet you somewhere after classes.”

Kaneki did his best to suppress his smile. “I can meet you in the park near :re, if that works.” He stood with shaky legs, still a bit weak from sleep. Once he was up, he walked toward Touka to see her out the door.

She met him once her boots were on and shook her head. She still felt he was stupid and childish sometimes, in that cute way. Kaneki opened his arms slightly, inviting Touka into a hug. She once more rested into his soft embrace. After a tender moment, however, she recoiled. “I should go,” she admitted.

“Alright,” he agreed. He let her go, still reluctant to do so, and smiled as she opened the door. “I'll see you later.”

“Bye, Kaneki.” She shut the door behind her and sighed. She'd see him again later. _For now, I have classes to get to._ She left the building in a jog, heading to the metro station.

Kaneki sat back down on his bed and stared at the door. She was gone again. But, she came last night to help him feel alright. _Thank you, Touka,_ he thought.

_ThaNk yoU…_

Something crept in the back of his mind again.

_ThAnk yOu? WHAT do YoU have to THank HER fOr?_

Kaneki shifted uncomfortably. _Don’t you dare,_ he thought. _Not this soon._ Pain shot into his temple. He grabbed his head to suppress it as best he could. His lower spine felt as if knives stabbed into it repeatedly. He had a spasm and screamed and fell to the floor. He pulled his legs up to his chest and gripped his head with clawing fingers.

As Kaneki desperately slammed his head against the ground and wailed for mercy from the demons in his mind, his kagune burst from his back and shattered his apartment window. Kaneki rolled on top of his blood-like tentacle to restrict its movement as best he could. Through squinting eyes, he saw his window was blown out and the tendril was writhing in the open Tokyo air. Someone in the streets below would have surely seen it by now. _I can't get found now!_

_LeT GO,_ his mind demanded. _Let thEm fInD yOU… kILL THEM. EAT. Give iN._

Kaneki screamed once more in a bout of anger, arching his back in an attempt to recoil his kagune by force. “You do no control me!”

_ThEn cONTrol us… ShoW uS YOur WILL…_

There was no way for Kaneki to get a hold of himself. He submit to his insane mind and gave his self control away.

He shut his eyes.

An eternal minute later, someone bashed down Kaneki's door. When he ripped his eyes open, he saw the legs of who it was. The person wore slacks and dress shoes. Their legs were spread apart in a battle ready stance, but they made no move. The insanity in Kaneki's head recoiled. His kagune reduced and slipped into him again. Kaneki started panting, tears of pain streamed down his cheeks and he looked to the person in front of him.

Amon Koutarou.

“Don't panic,” he said. “I'll hear you out.”


	5. Chapter 4

KANEKI

Amon Koutarou?

Kaneki trembled, attempting to get his strength back and at least sit up. Amon towered over him, as alive as the day they fought. Something was different about him, though. His eyes had mercy in them. Kaneki was grateful. He had been through enough at the hands of Koutarou. He managed to sit up, resting on his knees. He panted, wiping the cold sweat from his forehead

“Are you going to say anything, Kaneki?” Amon crouched down to meet Kaneki’s face. He still looked as stern as ever.

Kaneki gulped. “How do you know my name?” His voice trembled as the words left his mouth.

“I’ve done some research since we last met.” The powerful looking young man stood, then gestured down the hall to... who?

A moment later, Keirebu stepped into the room. From behind Amon, he nodded to Kaneki. He nodded back subtly. “What’s the situation, Amon?” Keirebu came to Amon’s side.

“I’m going to hear this ghoul out,” said Amon. “Lucky for him, he didn’t hurt anyone in the area with his little… outburst.”

Kaneki breathed out his relief. The last thing he wanted was a crime to be held over his head. He got his bearings and stood carefully. “Well, it’s difficult to explain,” Kaneki started. “Around the time of the Aogiri Tree Raid, when I was captured by Yamori, I resorted to cannibalism to survive. I ate some kakugan, and that combined with Rize Kamishiro appearing in my mind from my organ transplant, I have less control over my kagune than I’d like to. I lost control of it just then, when you saw it.”

Amon nodded, somewhat understanding the young man’s explanation. “Well then you’re definitely not guilty of anything, except maybe for defacing private property. Is this your apartment?”

“Yes,” Kaneki replied quickly.

“Well then you have nothing to worry about. But, I do have a few questions for you.”

Kaneki looked to Amon, then to Keirebu. He shrugged. “What do you need to know?”

Amon asked the question bothering him the most first. “Why did you leave me alive that night, during the Anteiku Raid?”

Kaneki was somewhat taken aback by the sheer brashness of Amon’s remark. He took a moment to process the investigator’s words. “I didn’t want to kill you, so I didn’t. What else is there to say?’

That wasn’t enough for Amon. He asked a related question: “Did you not want to be a murderer? Or was there something else that influenced your choice?”

Kaneki again took a moment to think, then replied with a bit more sincerity. I didn’t want to be a murderer, for sure, but I guess I thought you were… important. I don’t know, what more can I say?”

Amon felt a little more satisfied with that answer. He nodded and let a tiny half smile creep onto his lips. “I don’t think you understand how important it was for me to hear that, Kaneki. Thank you for co-operating.” He stood up now, looking to Keirebu gesturing out of the room with his hand. “By the way, I’ll make sure this stays off the record. Other investigators may not be so merciful if they find out about this.”

This seemed strangely uncharacteristic of Amon. What had changed in him? And had it really been enough to have him exercise mercy with ghouls? Or was this just an act to create a better profile on Kaneki himself? Whatever it was, he would go along with it. “Thank you Mr. Koutarou.”

Amon nodded, leaving the apartment and closing the door behind him. After a minute, Kaneki found his phone and hastily sent a message to Touka.

_Amon Koutarou just showed up at my apartment._

Not even ten seconds later, Touka replied.

_What? You mean the Dove who used to be Mado’s apprentice?_

_That’s the guy._

_Kuso._ She cursed. _What happened?_

_I lost control and broke my window. He saw it happen, stepped in, and asked me a few questions, then left. He said he’d keep it off the record but I’m not sure what to think._

Touka took a few minutes to respond this time. He wasn’t at all surprised. Something like this was more abnormal than Kaneki’s very existence.

_Are you okay?_

That was definitely not the reply Kaneki expected. He smiled in reading it, however.

_I’m okay. Thanks for asking. Just let myself slip for a minute._

_Okay. Do you want me to just come back to your place after classes?_

_I think I’m fine. But thanks._

_Okay._

Kaneki put away his phone. There was nothing more to say. He just sat on his bed again, then felt a draft from the broken window. He glanced up to it and noticed shards of glass in the windowsill. Sighing, he stood again and cleaned the glass, then put a spare bedsheet over the broken window. He would get it fixed later.

 

 

TOUKA

She put away her phone and bit her lip. Whatever just happened to Kaneki was extremely off. She figured it would be rude to just leave him alone now. _After school,_ she thought, _I’m going to see him again._ She nodded to herself, then refocused on her studies.

Touka’s phone buzzed on the table. She got a text from Yoriko. She opened it.

_You look troubled. Everything okay?_

Touka had no idea her unease was noticeable. She glanced around the study hall, seeing her best friend a few tables over. Her brow was furrowed and her eyes were widened. Touka sent a text back.

_Yeah, I’m okay. The boyfriend just got a bit sick, that’s all._

_Alright. Tell him to get better for me._

_Thanks Yoriko. I will._

She set her phone down and returned once again to studying. She lifted her gaze some time later and saw Yoriko smile in her direction. Touka smiled back. Though she frowned as soon as she looked back down to her textbooks. She was worried about Kaneki. Especially after learning a Dove came to visit because his fit of insanity ended up disturbing the neighborhood. That would not mean anything good for the whole ward. This had better not spark another raid. But she was thinking too much, and she really did need to keep on top of her studies. For Hinami. For the life she wanted to help her have.

She continued memorizing her material for another two hours before deciding finally to pack up and head over to see Kaneki again. She went on her way, not wasting even a second in getting there as fast as possible. As the thick of winter had passed a couple weeks ago, the sun took more time to fall in the pale sky. Still, it was already nearly set. Touka could see her breath in front of her, urging her to hurry and get warm in Kaneki’s arms… Or his home, rather. _Where did that come from?_ She asked herself. She shook her head to clear the thought out. Still, the image stuck of Kaneki and his strong, capable build. Her cheeks flared pink, and in the crisp air they felt extra warm. She picked up her pace again, almost jogging. Now she did not try to banish her thoughts about Kaneki. They were driving her forward. She would laugh about her mind’s stupidity if she were not so cold.

With her brisk pace and determined mind, she soon reached Kaneki’s apartment and knocked on the door. Kaneki called from inside, “Who’s there?”

“Come see for yourself, lazy.” Touka rested a hand on her hip and waited for Kaneki to come to the door. A moment later he opened it, standing in the doorway with a towel around his waist and wet, matted down hair that was carelessly pushed aside and out of his eyes. Once he realized who was at the door he jumped and grabbed hold of his towel. His knuckles soon went white from gripping it so tight.

Touka was surprised to see him this way. She was not at all complaining, but she said nothing to make him think as much. “Should I give you a minute, Ken?”

Kaneki shook his head, blushing about his own circumstances for the first time in likely a year. “Come in. I’ll just change in the bathroom and be out in a minute.”

Touka stepped in, taking off her boots and closing the door behind her. She glanced around the cramped apartment, taking in the limited sight for the second time that day. It was truly a tiny place. A counter space with just enough room for a sink and a hot plate, a “fridge” next to the counter, a ratty old bed at the back of the room with an end table at the head, and a small TV resting on a similar end table to the one at the head of Kaneki’s bed. The bathroom was off to the side of the front of the room, and behind the walls his bathroom created was a cheap office desk and chair with a miserable bookshelf next to it, jam-packed with assorted novels. This was more than modest. But living off practically nothing required this of a person. Hopefully this would change for all of them soon, once :re was ready to open.

Kaneki came back into the main room in boxers and a muscle shirt that practically clung to his chest. Touka put forth all her effort to keep her eyes off him. In doing so, she noticed the bed sheet over the window at the end of the room. “So that’s your repair job?”

Kaneki coughed out some kind of a laugh. “Until I can somehow find the money to pay the landlady, that’ll have to do.”

“I guess so,” Touka said. Kaneki stared at her, looking puzzled. “What?”

With a cocked eyebrow he asked, “What are you doing here? I told you I’d be fine on my own.”

“You did, but let’s face it. You’re never fine. So I came to see how you’re really doing.” She stepped further into the apartment and sat on Kaneki’s bed. He came with her and sat next to her, plopping onto the bed with a grunt.

“Well I am okay, Touka. Right now, at least.” Kaneki looked into her eyes for a second. Her heart skipped a beat and her eyes stuck to his. Then he turned away. She cursed in her head. _He’s affecting me way too much,_ she thought. Part of her just wanted to let go of her difficult façade and tell him how she really felt right now. But she feared his reaction, his rejection. The thought of him leaving again like everyone else tormented her, so she stayed quiet.

But could it really be as bad as she thought? There were a number of occasions when Touka felt like Kaneki would accept her with open arms. Even just last night, when she slept in his bed with him, she thought she could let go of her doubts and her fears. But she knew she couldn’t. And besides, they had their own lives and their own troubles to worry about. The last thing either of them needed was a significant other to worry about too.

Still, they gave each other looks that would say the total opposite. The room always seemed to heat up when they looked at each other, or when their hands happened to touch. How was she going to hold back when he was so attractive? How could she not ask for him to take away her pain when he was obviously ready to do so?

“Touka,” Kaneki spoke, “I… I appreciate you coming to check up on me.” He wrung his hands as he spoke, his eyes locked downward.

Touka smiled, pulling her hair out of her face. She then flattened her face once she realized she looked like a schoolgirl talking to her crush. “It’s nothing,” she said simply.

Kaneki sighed. “Yeah.” He placed his hand on hers gently. Touka didn’t recoil, but her brow furrowed and her jaw dropped. “I need to say something,” Kaneki continued. “I’ve never really properly said this, but I’m sorry. For leaving Anteiku, for letting it burn, for letting Yoshimura get killed, for ruining our friendship. I didn’t want any of this to happen.” Touka was surprised. She thought he’d apologized already for sure. _I guess it wasn’t enough for him,_ she thought. “I accept your apology, Kaneki. It’s okay, really. I was stupid for blaming you for everything.”

Kaneki shook his head in protest. “No, it was me. I wasn’t strong enough, and people died. Because of my weakness, people are gone or separated. I deserve all of the blame whether its-“

She stopped his ranting by placing a finger over his lips. Then she did something she never thought she would: she kissed him. She leaned in quickly, put a hand on his cheek, and pressed her lips to his. They were so soft, and they quivered somewhat against hers, but soon they relaxed. She could feel him reach around her back with his arm, pulling her closer. She took a chance and placed her free hand on his chest. She was not disappointed with her choice. She could easily feel his heartbeat under his strong pecks. Both breathed deeply, highly satisfied with their positions.

Touka was the first to pull away, however, and her gaze dropped in her embarrassment. “I’m sorry,” she said. “That was stupid of me.”

Kaneki put a finger under Touka’s chin, bringing her gaze back up to meet his. He was smiling. “Thank you.” He wrapped his arms around the girl and held her tight. Eventually, Touka relaxed into his arms and wrapped her own around him. All her worries and insecurities were suddenly gone. Kaneki spoke again. “Touka, I want you to know something.”

“Yes, Kaneki?” Touka looked up from where she rested on the half ghoul’s chest.

Kaneki took in a deep breath. “I really like you. Even though you’re difficult and rude and I know you hated me for a long while, I’ve liked you from the first second I saw you. And its okay if you don’t feel the same way. I just figured you should know.”

Touka wanted to cry for some reason. Maybe she now knew he did not intend to leave, and maybe she knew someone wanted her around. Or maybe she finally knew he felt something she had been feeling for so long, but had suppressed from fear of not knowing how to express herself. Whatever the case, she decided to let a few tears out. She didn’t care if he could feel them or not. She felt secure, and happy. She wanted him to know that. “I like you too,” she told him.


	6. Chapter 5

KEIREBU

_I love you, Caleb…_

Her words would always echo in his head. No matter where he was or what the time of day, the memory of her constantly played over in his mind. At least he did not cry anymore. That was definitely a bonus.

Keirebu, known originally as Caleb in English, lay in his bed staring at the ceiling. He thought over the last decade of his life instead of sleeping, as he had many times before. “It’s been some ride,” he whispered. Sometimes she would talk back. This was not one of those times. Still, he continued to speak. “At least he’s dead now. I can put my revenge to rest.”

He stepped out of bed, getting too warm and deciding to grab some water. The wood floor was cold, but he enjoyed it. It would help him cool off faster. He shuffled into his kitchen, grabbed a glass, and used the filtered pump on his fridge to, filling his cup. While waiting, he took an opportunity to stare out onto the night cityscape of Tokyo that lay outside his balcony window. “This view never gets old, right?” Still no reply, unfortunately. He sighed and brought the cup to his mouth, taking a sip. The view never did get old, but it reminded him of his last moments with her, with Jade.

 

The next morning, after trying to get some sleep, Keirebu showed up to work at the CCG 23rd Ward office. He made sure to get the stench of corpse off his breath before going. He already nearly triggered the Rc scanners as it was. No need for the smell of his breakfast to blow his cover. He greeted co-workers, lesser, equal, and greater, as he passed on the way to his office. Of course, there were few below Keirebu, he being only a Rank 2 Investigator.

Soon he reached his senior investigator’s office. He knocked on the door. His superior told him to come in, so he opened the door and bowed deeply on his way in. “Yofukuna-san,” he said. “Good morning, sir.”

Yofukuna nodded to Keirebu with a smile. “Good morning, Keirebu. A touch early, as always.”

“If I’m to move up in the ranks sir, I need to make a good impression.” He smiled back, rising from his bow. “Do you need help with anything today, sir?”

Yofukuna stood from his office chair, bracing himself on his desk. Age was beginning to affect him. “I don’t think so, no. If you’d like to again, you can participate in patrols for a few hours. Just make sure to come back before six o’clock. The head office has requested our presence.”

Keirebu raised an eyebrow. “Is that all you know, sir?”

“Unfortunately,” Yofukuna began, “yes. I would trust this is of utmost importance, of course, so be prompt.” “Of course, sir. I’ll see you at six tonight, then.”

 

Out on the streets of Tokyo, Keirebu stood at a street corner, briefcase in hand. He sometimes found it strange, carrying around a briefcase. He had a real kagune of his own, after all. A nice rinkaku at that. His quinque was good, but he felt he might forget who he was if he relied on it too much. So instead of using it, he simply carried it to show he was armed, one way or another.

He was headed to Kaneki's home closer to the edge of the ward. He needed to talk to somebody, and Kaneki had the right to know what Keirebu had to tell him. Yes, Keirebu had just been there yesterday, but Amon was around then. Not exactly the best place to talk about a secret half-ghoul identity, or a difficult past surrounding it.

At times as Keirebu waked across the city, he drew curious or surprised looks from other pedestrians. Doves had definitely become more common within the last few months, but they were still rare to see on the streets. Often times they would drive, take transit, or already be at the scene of a crime. However it was no more dangerous for an investigator to walk around unaccompanied, and Keirebu enjoyed the urban scenery, so he walked.

He passed through a suburban area of the city on his way to his destination. Set on a hill lay a house larger and more western in style than the rest. The windows were boarded up and the siding and paint had melted away from fires. An image flashed in Keirebu’s mind of flames and terrified eyes, and his mind brought back feelings of tragedy and betrayal. He winced, turning away from the home. _Still hurts like it was yesterday,_ he thought. He kept walking. Soon he returned to the usual urban setting of Tokyo.

Kaneki’s house was not far now. Keirebu pulled his phone from his pocket and sent a message to Kaneki.

_Are you at home?_

_Yeah, why?_

_I need to talk to you about something._

He did not respond past that. Keirebu assumed Kaneki was agreeing to listen. He slipped his phone back into his pocket, reaching the front door of Kaneki’s apartment building and requesting to be let in. A moment later, Kaneki’s voice spoke, _I’ve got the door. Come up quickly._ Keirebu did as was suggested and opened the front door of the apartment building, entering the elevator and ascending to his desired floor.

He rapped on Kaneki’s door lightly. From outside, he could hear shuffling and some whispered talking. He knocked again. “Kaneki? Are you in there?”

No response came. Keirebu tentatively ran his finger over the shallow button on his briefcase. If this wasn’t Kaneki, he would be ready to dispatch of whoever it was efficiently. He called out one more time. “Kaneki?”

“One second, Keirebu!” Kaneki called back. Keirebu relaxed, moving his finger from the button and backing up from the door. Then he heard what sounded like a belt being buckled, and Touka’s voice. Keirebu smirked. “So that’s what happened,” he muttered with a smirk.

A moment later, the door swung open to reveal a messy-haired Kaneki, his eyes wide. “Sorry about that. My, uh… my apartment was a bit messy.” He rubbed the back of his neck.

Keirebu chuckled bowing slightly. “I’m sure it was,” he said knowingly. “May I come in?”

“Of course,” Kaneki replied, stepping out of the way. Once he moved, Keirebu noticed Touka sitting ‘casually’ on Kaneki’s bed, eyeing his bookshelf. He greeted her, she greeted him back more politely than she normally would. He smiled again, knowing his theory of what they had done last night was further confirmed. To help his case more, Touka’s clothes were far more ruffled than she would allow if she were paying attention. Obviously something else was on her mind.

“So,” Kaneki broke the silence that ensued, “why’d you stop by?”

Keirebu took a seat on the floor, careful not to wrinkle his dress pants. “I needed to talk to you about something. Would you mind?”

“Of course not,” the white haired young man told him. “Should Touka leave?” He glanced to the girl, who pushed a lock of hair from her eyes.

“No, she’s okay to stay. Just… keep quiet about this. What I’m about to tell you could ruin my cover for good.”

The two young adults exchanged glances. Kaneki closed and locked his door, then came to sit on the bed next to Touka – closer than normal. _Good,_ Keirebu thought. _They’re getting along much better for now, at least._ Seeing they were settled, Keirebu took out his earpiece and shut it off, then slipped it into his pocket.

“So I know I haven’t been too forthcoming about my history as of late. I’d like to change that.”

Kaneki leaned in closer, bending over his legs and resting his arms on his knees. “I’m all ears.”

Keirebu sighed and shook his head. “This will take a while. Keep that in mind.”

 

 

THREE YEARS EARLIER

KEIREBU

The rain fell hard. It pelted the uncovered, filthy head of a homeless young man, aimlessly searching the neighborhood for a place to sleep. Tokyo was so crowded. The young man was lucky enough to have found a more suburban area of the city, coming across a high school. Just across the field, a baseball diamond sat empty, the bleachers soaked. Underneath those seats, however, would be almost completely dry. He dashed across the field, keeping his duffel bag on his shoulder until he could take it off properly. His feet landed in puddles as he ran, soaking his legs from the ankle down. It hadn’t been the first time that night. He no longer took notice of it. Upon reaching the bleachers, he nearly dove to get out of the rain. He sighed heavily, sitting down for the first time since the morning and removing his duffel bag from his shoulder. The outside was drenched. Hopefully his blanket would be fine.

As he began to unzip the bag, something shifted behind him, out of his sight. He turned in a flash, ready to strike if necessary. Behind him was a girl, possibly around his age, sleeping under the risen seats, same as he planned to. She smelled human. His stomach grumbled. It had been weeks since he last had a chance to eat anything, and it was beginning to get to him. He stared at the sleeping girl with hunger, his left eye turning black out of instinct. Her eyes fluttered as he crept over her, ready to strike.

He recoiled in an instant, his eye returning to normal. For a moment, he stared at his hands, appalled at himself. Not even two years ago, he was human too. Had he really let his morals go this much?

The girl woke, blinking the sleep from her eyes. She saw the young man in front of her and shrunk further back into the seats, cursing loudly. “Who are you?” She asked frantically.

“I- I’m sorry,” the young man replied. “I’m just looking for a place to sleep. I’m... Caleb.”

The girl studied the young man for a while before speaking again. “Caleb… You’re homeless?”

“Yeah.” He shrunk away as he spoke. He wasn't proud of his position. Who would really be proud of being an orphaned young man who chose to become a ghoul to deal with the pain of homelessness easier?

The girl gave Caleb a sympathetic look, eyeing him with curiosity as well. She spoke up, “I have a place you can stay for a while, if you'd like.”

His eyes went wide. “Are you serious?”

“Sure, I'd be glad to help. Just, don't screw with me. I'm gonna trust you for now.”

Caleb was speechless. He wasn't all too sure how to respond. After a few seconds of silence, he simply nodded, swallowing the nervous lump in his throat.

“Alright,” the girl continued. “Follow me, we'll get you out of the rain.”

Caleb stood, following the girl out from under the stands. They continued together for a couple blocks in silence, before he finally spoke up. “So… who are you?”

The girl eyed him again, as if to size him up. She smiled. “My name is Jade. I came from America to study in university here. With a name like Caleb, you must be from the US too?”

“I came from Canada, actually. Just around a year ago. Then I lost my credit card and all my money and now I’m stuck out here.”

Jade frowned. “My family came here so we could expand our business. I haven’t felt at home since leaving, especially with no friends here and the huge language barrier. But it’s okay, I guess.”

“Then I guess we both have no choice but to make it work, do we?”

She chuckled, still looking forward. “You more than me, I'd think!”

Caleb nodded slowly, his mind on the events that brought him here; he considered his time in foster care, his first run-in with the CCG back in Canada, his subsequent trip to Japan, and his stranding in Tokyo. He had so many things to think on instead of the rain or the girl walking next to him. They ended up keeping his attention away from where he was actually going with this girl. He forced his attention to return to his current situation, shaking his head around to snap himself out of his blank stare.

Further down the road, a large American style home sat in partial solitude, the nearby properties obviously bought by the owners of that house. The home seemed to be made of brick, with two large wooden pillars extending from the front steps up toward the overhang of the roof. It was charming, but uncharacteristically large for the area. Right next to the mansion-sized house lay a much smaller cabin, made of similar material. Jade pointed in the cabin’s direction as they got closer to the property. “That’s my house,” she said. “My parents hired people to build it for me, but everything inside is stuff I’ve worked for myself. I never wanted to be rich.”

Caleb nodded, only barely understanding her position. “Is there a room I can stay in?”

Jade smiled. “Yeah, there’s a place for you. Once we get in I’ll find you some dry clothes from my dad’s stuff. That okay with you? At least for now?”

Caleb nodded with vigour. He was excited to finally be allowed back inside a house and have clean clothes. It had been two years for him since he last stepped foot in one, so this was quite the occasion.

They arrived at the front door. Jade fumbled with her keys. There weren’t many on her keychain, but Caleb guessed her fingers were freezing, like his. She managed to grab the right key and insert it into the keyhole, unlocking and opening the door. She stepped inside and flipped the light switch, revealing the house inside.

It was modest inside, but very comfortable and functional as well. To the left on the way in lay the living room, furnished with a couch and two easy chairs, a coffee table, a small flat screen TV, and a proper wood burning fireplace built into the wall. Past that was what looked from Caleb’s angle to be the kitchen. He stepped inside carefully, making sure not to disturb the warmth, comfort, and welcoming nature of the room.

“Make yourself at home,” Jade told him. “I’m going to change out of these wet clothes and find you something to wear.”

“Alright,” Caleb said absently.  He lowered himself onto the couch, relaxing into the cushions. It was softer than anything he’d ever felt, or so he thought at the time. Even a clean, new couch was a luxury to him.

Once Jade left the room, Caleb studied it further, glancing around and taking in the furniture and the painted walls. Then his stomach growled. He glanced down with a sigh and felt at his left eyelid. The veins were showing, he could feel them. His kakugan was showing. Caleb ignored that fact for the time being. _It should be gone by the time she gets back,_ he figured. He kept looking around the room, biding his time until Jade returned and his eye was back to normal.

Jade came back a few minutes later with new clothes in hand. “Okay, I found some sweatpants. Is that okay for now?” Rounding the corner, she stopped dead in her tracks, staring Caleb directly in the eyes. Or rather, at his one eye. She dropped the clothing and ran straight back the way she came.

Caleb felt at his eye again. The veins still popped out, meaning he thought wrong about his kakugan. He cursed under his breath and called after the girl. “Wait! This isn’t what it looks like!” He leaped over the couch and marched down the hall after Jade. “I’m not going to eat you, I promise!”

Not a word came from anyone besides Caleb. He sighed. “I would’ve told you sooner, but I was afraid you’d do this. I didn’t want to hurt you and I still don’t. Just… trust me. Please.”

A moment of silence passed, then Jade spoke up. She was almost too quiet to hear through her shut door. “Are you hungry? Is that why your eye’s like that?”

Caleb lied. “No, I’m not hungry. I just don’t have good control over my eye.”

Jade’s door creaked open. She stood carrying a phone in her left hand, ready to call the police.  It seemed she hadn’t dialed yet. She sighed deeply, trying to let her worry leave her. “You can still stay here, then. Just promise me one thing.”

“Whatever you need,” Caleb replied.

“Don’t ever try to eat me, or put me in danger. You got that?”

He nodded once, hardening his expression to show the truth of his gesture. “I promise.”

 

 

PRESENT

KEIREBU

“So to cut a long story short, a few weeks after Jade took me home, we fell in love. She was merciful to me despite the fact I was a ghoul, and she let me use some of her family's money to get back on my feet. She even helped me find Anteiku when I first started getting hungry around her. In order to support her and myself, I started going to high school and the CCG Academy at the same time, while also working part-time at Anteiku. We actually got engaged on the day I graduated from the academy. We were planning to get married a few months later. So with all that, things couldn’t seem to get better or worse.”

Touka and Kaneki listened intently as Keirebu told his history. “I had no idea you’d been through all that,” Kaneki commented. “It’s pretty impressive that you’re still around. And sane, for that matter.”

“Thank you.” Keirebu looked to his feet, somewhat flattered by his words. He continued, “But then eventually I couldn’t uphold my promise any longer. Someone ended up catching onto my identity. Kureo Mado, that bastard, found out that I was a ghoul.” Keirebu’s eyes glazed over. “He confronted me about it, and I confirmed his theories. I figured if he wanted to kill me, it was time for it to happen. But he didn’t kill me. No, he had other, worse plans to tear me down.”


End file.
